And thus it began..

Never in my life I waited for you,

What’s coming I dint had a clue.

The fate chose the thirteenth of April,

Which I thought was another mock drill.

You were visibly nervous,

‘Coz marriage was nowhere on your compass.

I knew not your mind,

And was rejoicing my find.

You could only hope against the hope,

Until the things took a different shape.

Half-heartedly you decided to cope

With the situation beyond the rope.

Express did I my heart to you,

Which I did so with only a few.

Ecstatic was I to say the least,

While everyone else was planning the feast.

The tale has begun in a perfect way,

when YES  you did say.

The dream is yet to come true,

On the day when you say “I DO”.

The Fourth P

(my speech at the valedictory function at DTRTI, Bangalore 19.07.2013)

“ ……The school failed again. It was the annual sports meet.  The school which had a great track record at the meet has been failing miserably from the past couple of years. The situation in football was particularly pathetic. They not only lost matches but also the hope for the future. The school desperately wanted to improve the situation. As everyone else does in such a situation, the school hired a renowned football coach.  The coach immediately accepted the challenge and started his job. In no time he found out that the team was hugely short of both talent and attitude. The coach wanted to build a new team and for that he wanted to infuse new talent and a fresh attitude in the team. The coach started to observe other kids in the school. And like all good coaches do, this coach had trusted his intuition and zeroed upon one boy whom he thought had great abilities to be a footballer. Ironically, this boy knew nothing about football. However, he was enthused with the attention he was getting from the coach. The coach started his training sessions. Soon he was overwhelmed by the choice he made because the boy was indeed a prodigy. Within a short span of time the coach made him an extraordinary footballer, far ahead of his peers. The whole team was buoyed by his performance and everyone else was contributing more than they thought they could. The coach and the school were very happy and were looking forward for the sports meet.

            The D-day finally arrived. It was the first match for the school and was a very crucial one too.  The coach confidently fielded all his team led by this boy. The match started. As expected this boy started showcasing his extra-ordinary talent. The remaining 21 players were no match for his speed and skill.

          ….The half time score read 5-5.  The audience was awestruck. The coach simply went blank. One would have expected the school to just demolish the opposition but the scoreboard simply didn’t reflect that. What happened then? ALL THE GOALS WERE SCORED BY THAT BOY!! The coach taught him all the tricks of the trade but he didn’t tell that kid where his goal is……”

            This was a story told to me in my childhood. Back then, it was nothing more than a funny fable. Today, I often think about it and the relevance it has in our day-to-day life. Knowledge in itself has no intrinsic value. Wisdom to use that knowledge imparts value to it. Without the wisdom, knowledge is not only useless but sometimes dangerous too. The atomic bomb and the Manhattan Project. Scientifically it was one of the greatest inventions of all time. Generating enormous amounts of energy from one of the smallest particles in the universe is nothing short of amazing. However, the purpose for which it was used resulted in a catastrophe, the ashes of which are burning in those two cities even after 70 years.

            We are often so overwhelmed by our “means” that we forget our “ends”. Whereas as we ve seen in the above story, without a purpose, all our efforts are in vain. In management parlance, an employee in an organization is motivated by  “Pay, Promotion and Privileges”. I would not agree with this in totality. Of course these things motivate us in short term but these would not sustain after a certain level.  There comes the fourth P, the “purpose” to fill in the gap. The motivation must be “Purpose, Pay, Promotion and Privileges” in that order.

            The purpose becomes even more prominent in the case of a civil servant. Rather, I would prefer the term “Public Servant”. The term ‘servant’ is quite interesting. All of us want to be ‘masters’, and none of us want to be a ‘servant’.  Then the question arises as to why many of us want to be public servants, which often is after clearing some of the toughest exams in the world. That’s the greatness of service. It gives the greatest satisfaction. The “purpose” here is the Public service. Today in our governmental services, I see both talent and skill. But the greatest problem is probably indifference. The reason for that is most of the servants do not understand the real purpose and the impact their work makes in the Nation Building. Corruption and inefficiency, which are most talked about in the context of the governmental service are the result of the same. Are they not more of an attitudinal problem? If true then where does the solution lie? The answer lies in developing a healthy organizational culture. When you trust your employees, generate respect across the hierarchy and help them realize the real purpose of their job, the employee develops a pride in the work he does. When this happens, the employee tries his best to atleast uphold that pride if not increase it. People’s perception is bound to change in a positive direction.

            The society is evolving and so is our governance. Irrespective of the much hyped mishappenings here and there, there is a lot of positive energy in today’s India. India is about to reap the benefits of the one of the youngest population in the world. There is need for each one of us to channelize these positive energies towards a common goal. Let us all Dream of a wonderful India and work together towards it.

                

One Billion Leaders

(This is my speech at Ramakrishna Mission,New Delhi on the occasion of 150th Birth Anniversary of Swami Vivekananda on 12th Jan. 2013.)

Respected swami Shantatmananda ji, Revered monks of the Ramakrishna order, chief guest Shri Sam Pitroda, distinguished Olympians Shri Abinav Bhindra and Shri Akhil Kumar, and my dear friends, I am honored to be given an opportunity to speak on this wonderful occasion. I am extremely grateful to RK Mission New Delhi for providing me with this opportunity.

I bow down to the great leader in Swami Vivekananda and his great master Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. If I were to summarize the mission of swamiji in a single phrase, then that would be the message of “Empowerment from within”. Swamiji believed in the Divinity in man and encouraged everyone to realize and accept it.

We Indians, as a society, today stand on the edge of a cliff. There is authoritarianism being exhibited at the top of the pyramid while the danger of anarchy is lurking at the bottom of it. And when these two forces come into contact, then there will only be destruction. There is a growing inequity in the society. On one hand, there are millions starving and on the other we boast of few of the richest men in the world. On one hand, we take pride in our rich cultural heritage where women are accorded the highest respect and on the other, there is a growing incidence of female foeticide, sexual harassment and dowry deaths. The society as a whole is getting frustrated. People want a change and in real quick time. We already are witnessing glimpses of this revolutionary spirit. Fortunately, these protests are peaceful till today but we never know when it will take a violent turn. I don’t want to see a Libya or a Syria here because India is no Libya or Syria and if we come down to fighting, there are so many differences amongst us that it will lead to the bloodiest civil war ever fought in the history of mankind.

How do I stop this? What is the root cause of all this misery? What is the kind of change that we want to see? Has our leadership failed us? Do we need better leaders and better governments? Or do we need to relook the very conception of leadership that we have. Here comes Swami Vivekananda’s message as an answer.

Gone are the days when leadership was based on the criteria of birth. Gone are the days when leader was perceived to be one who possessed a fixed set of traits. Gone are the days when different leadership styles to suit different situations were “taught” in colleges. The time has come. The time has to come to discover the leader within each one of us. A leader need not have followers. Be the follower of the leader within you. Let us accept the infinite power present in each one of us.

We do find leaders in our day-to-day life. A young budding cricketer probably sees his leader in the great Sachin Tendulkar. What we need to understand here is Sachin is nothing but the closest reflection of the great hidden potential in that young cricketer. The real leader is within.

Every young has a dream. I am young. And I have a dream. I dream of India as a country of “One Billion Leaders”. I dream of One Billion leaders who do not fight each other for power but accept the infinite potential within each one of them and grow powerful by day. I dream of One Billion leaders who readily sacrifice their individual egos for the common good. I dream of One billion leaders who infact are the servants of the whole mankind.

How do I plan to realize this dream of mine? How do I integrate these one billion leaders towards a common goal?

We always take pride in talking about “unity in diversity” whenever we talk about India. It is a great attribute indeed. But even greater is the fact that this land has actually allowed such a diversity to flourish which no other civilization could ever achieve. Now what is the unifying factor of all this diversity?

A century ago this unification was achieved through Nationalism. Thousands of leaders sprouted to fight the mighty British and achieve national independence. Today we are a strong independent nation and hence nationalism wont be as effective as it was then. Today probably religion serves the purpose better. Infact religion will serve as a better unifying factor compared to Nationalism because the diversity we talk about is rooted in this very religion. Religion in India, unlike in many other countries is founded on the principles of secularism and democracy. Throughout the Indian history, Religion has been striking the right chord in between the temptation of authoritarianism and chaos of anarchy, thus been a vehicle of good governance.

By the word Religion, I do not refer to any particular sect like that of a Hindus, Muslims or Christians. Nor do I wish to create a new sect altogether. By the word religion I refer to a set of values and a way of life that makes a Hindu a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim and a Christian a better Christian. I speak of that religion where to serve is to pray and to conquer is to sacrifice. Progress and not mere reform; Evolution and not mere revolution is the motto of this religion. I wish to take up this religion to realize my dream. It is the vehicle of change within each one of us. The change we are longing for is the change within.

Yes, there are challenges. Yes, I cannot preach this religion to a hungry stomach or a diseased man. But I am not talking about churning out One Billion leaders overnight. It must start with small infant steps. It is a chain reaction in which leaders breed new leaders. In fact the very process of this chain reaction solves many of our problems today.

One Billion Leaders. This is my Dream. This is my Belief. And this is my Hope. Let us make it our Dream, our Belief, and our Hope.

The Teacher

when i started in school,
this day seemed far away.
but there was a guru "cool",
who kept those distances at bay.

She knew the shortcut,
which passed right through her heart,
to a world full of fun n love,
where people only give n live.

The journey was a horse-back ride,
with her presence in every ebb n tide.
One day the road seemed to end,
only to realize that it was a mere bend.

The new track wasn't boring at all,
for i found a friend in her.
The changing role afterall,
didnt change the love in her.

when i started in school,
the destination wasn't far away.
for i knew she was there,
to lead me all the way.

Love Decoded

The four letter magic word has been a source of great inspiration for life to evolve on this planet. Infact love is the essence of life itself, bridging the (apparent) wide gulf among various living beings and also between the living and non-living. Love is omnipresent and omnipotent, which however is under a thick veil of ignorance. Once this ignorance fades away, love blossoms. The understanding of such a key life process holds a great significance in a world that is rapidly being engulfed in a array of life-destroying rifts and tensions. In India it acquires a greater importance, for our country being a multi-ethnical, multi-racial, multi-lingual and don’t know a home to how many more such multi’s. Hence, I present my understanding of this process called love. I don’t propose nor intend to propose a THEORY regarding love. It needs to be seen as an amateur’s attempt to study love.

Different Levels of Love
Everything and anything, tangible and intangible, is rooted in love. However, when seen closely there are various levels of it. The most basic level of love is pertaining to one’s sense gratification. Falling in love with what you see, what you touch, what you hear, what you taste, and what you smell, falls into this category. “Lust” is the keyword at this level. The next level is relates to one’s mind. It is a level wherein the bodily senses at times might be silent but one’s mind is constantly engaged in a relation with the object of love. At this level your mind accepts the object of love and the connection with that object is retained in the human memory. This can be best explained by the dreams of the object of love during sleep. The next level of love pertains to one’s intelligence wherein the one makes a choice to make or not the ‘obsession’ of his/her permanent. This stage is also marked by a deep sense of possession, which when not managed properly could be a cause of distress at times. This also brings us to the point that there is an element of discretion in love. i.e. we love because we choose to love. People who close out their minds from falling in love, will hardly be able to receive love when given. Such a mindset doesn’t last long because the moment the web of ignorance and pessimism that one has weaved around oneself starts thinning, love prevails.
The distinction between these stages is not sharp and often we see sufficient overlapping of all the three. However, it is clear that love tends to be unstable when the component of the lower level exceeds that of a higher level. Though in most of the cases the initiation of love is through senses, it is quite possible to start at a higher level. For example, one may hear great things about a tourist place, say Switzerland, and imagine such a place and fall in love with it without even seeing it.
Now, let us try to examine the most common forms of love that we experience everyday.
‘Love at first sight’ or for that matter at any sight is the stage of sense gratification, which at that level is commonly referred to as infactuation. This may or may not move up to an higher level. Similarly, the love for a particular kind of music, food, fashion, place or art generally starts as reaction towards them by one’s senses.
The love of intangible or abstract objects is actually a curiosity to create an identity for oneself. ‘ I love my Nation’ or ‘I love my college’ or ‘I love cricket’ are nothing but an attempt to carve a niche for oneself. Long association with a place generally makes people difficult to move out of it sighting ATTACHMENT as a reason is actually because of the fear of losing his/her identity associated with it. Brotherly love or love for ones siblings, friends, and family develops with long close associations. Marriages and family are the social systems created to facilitate such long associations. Lack of sufficient understanding of the need, essence and practicality of such systems is the root of degrading family values and a culture of intolerance often resulting in early divorces.
Further, Marriages must not to be seen as an essential sequel to love for the former is a man made arrangement for maintaining a order in a society and essentially a means to discover love, while the latter is eternal reality sustaining the life in the world. Hence marriages can fail but the love cannot.
Apart from these three levels of love which are very common, there exists two more layers which needs a greater understanding and of a greater importance.
“Transcendence” is the word to describe the journey of love from the three lower levels to this one. In this stage, the love transcends beyond any material, emotional and intellectual needs. It becomes truly unconditional. The existence of the lover becomes meaningless without the object of love. The ego or the i-sense completely vanishes between them. A mother’s love for his child comes closest to this stage. The observation that the mother-child bonding is so strong stems out of the fact that the love between them starts at this higher level. Some marital relations, though very rare, attain this level. The lovers in this stage can be best described as soulmates. Unlike the lower levels where in the love can travel both ways - up and down the level, there is no going down at this stage; it can only move up the ladder of love.
The highest manifestation of love lies is uncovering the veil of ignorance completely and discovering the love in its truest form. This is the stage of universal love. It is an extension of the previous stage, where the lover’s object of love extends to every being – living and non-living. Ultimately, the lover, the object of love and the love itself loses distinct identities and becomes ONE. This is a stage where everything converges into ‘nothing’. It is a stage of TOTAL FREEDOM. There is no going back from this level, it just sustains leaving the lover in a stage of total bliss. According to me, the journey to attain such a freedom is not humanely possible. However, even an attempt to reach such a stage is sufficient to understand the purpose of life. If even an attempt is difficult, then the very knowledge of the path to such a stage of bliss is definitely more than enough to develop a sense of compassion, tolerance and co-existence.

Kaash!!

If only could
There be a unit to measure my love for you,
Should it balance infinity on the other side;

If only could
Our relation be named,
Should it be a new word in the dictionary,
word Closest being 'soulmates';

If only could
My prayers be heard,
Should it tempt the creator to repeal the past and map our common future;

If only should
I choose between a day with you and a lifetime without,
would I die to live a day in your embrace;

If only could
my silence be heard,
Should the whole world echo my wishes to you.

Kaash! Kaash! Kaash!

Parting Love

God gave me everything i prayed for.
when he gave me you,
my hands never raised again for a prayer.
but then a time came when
those hands clasped for one last time,
fighting a losing battle against fate
while she struggled in a bloodbath.

I kept gazing at those watery eyes,
i dived into those waves,
swam across those meanders,
reached heaven before i went blind.

Her tears helped retrace my way back,
but like a bee trapped in the flower at dusk,
my heart slipped under her eyelids and
then the dawn never came.

if losing everything is love,
then I'd be the greatest loser
experiencing the ecstasy of sacrifice.
I stood by her grave weeping
and swore that never would i
drink and drive again.

Things Untold

I searched the word lists,
to see if I could find,
something that would reflect
what was on my mind.

Guess what, there was not even one,
that captured it just right,
For no one else can understand
what I would like to write.

Further, It is even more difficult,
to pen it down,
For how do I portray ,
the friend that I have found?

I closed my eyes to see,
if the darkness has a solution
for someone I adore,
and even so much more.

And then I realized ,

Mere words cannot describe
the many qualities you show,
The love and affection that
you share with those you know.

You were always there,
When I lost some sheen,
I won’t say any more here,
For only you know what I mean.

I struggled hard to describe you,
Even, tried to invent a language anew,
Yet I failed to capture,
All the things that make you…YOU.

I will therefore, be satisfied,
And hope that you understand,
How I feel about you,
Emotions with words I cannot show.

The 'soul'

Here is a six verse poem about the soul(Athmashatakam) written by the great saint Shankara. Today being the birthday of another such legend Swami Vivekananda,who too shared a similar view point,i would like to share these beautiful lines with everyone.

1) I am not mind, nor intellect, nor ego,
nor the reflections of inner self (refer: Ahamkara).
I am not the five senses.
I am beyond that.
I am not the ether, nor the earth,
nor the fire, nor the wind (refer: the five elements: Mahabhuta).
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness.
2) Neither can I be termed as energy (refer: Prana),
nor five types of breath (refer: Vayu),
nor the seven material essences,
nor the five coverings (Refer: panca-kosha).
Neither am I the five instruments of elimination,
procreation, motion, grasping, or speaking.
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness.
3) I have no hatred or dislike,
nor affiliation or liking,
nor greed,
nor delusion,
nor pride or haughtiness,
nor feelings of envy or jealousy.
I have no duty (dharma),
nor any money,
nor any desire (refer: kama),
nor even liberation (refer: moksha).
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness.
4) I have neither merit (refer: virtue),
nor demerit (refer: vice).
I do not commit sins or good deeds,
nor have happiness or sorrow,
pain or pleasure.
I do not need mantras, holy places,
scriptures (refer: Vedas), rituals or sacrifices (refer: yajnas).
I am none of the triad of
the observer or one who experiences,
the process of observing or experiencing,
or any object being observed or experienced.
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness.
5) I do not have fear of death,
as I do not have death.
I have no separation from my true self,
no doubt about my existence,
nor have I discrimination on the basis of birth.
I have no father or mother,
nor did I have a birth.
I am not the relative,
nor the friend,
nor the guru,
nor the disciple.
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness.
6) I am all pervasive.
I am without any attributes,
and without any form.
I have neither attachment to the world,
nor to liberation (refer: mukti).
I have no wishes for anything
because I am everything,
everywhere,
every time,
always in equilibrium.
I am indeed,
That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva,
love and pure consciousness. (refer: Satcitananda minus the sat)

SIMPLICITY OF THE COMPLEX

“complexity tends towards simplicity”, he said.

They two were walking along the tranquil sands of the chowpatty allowing the warm water of the Arabian sea touch their feet. One was a ethical fool and other was a unethical genius. I was wondering as from whom this statement came. Was it the fool or was it the genius? Or whether I said the words myself and thought that it was said by one of the two? Or was it that only I was walking along the beach accompanied by my shadow and the aforementioned words just slipped to my shadow through my feet?

Well, coming out of the trance we had been through in the above paragraph, let’s move into another. I always had a fascination for complex numbers. I wondered about its invention. Who could have invented them? In the pursuit to find a convincing answer, something struck me almost immediately. The one who invented the complex numbers must have been more of a philosopher than a mathematician. This statement inherently demands explanation.

Every living being is arguably a dual personality. The ONE, which one exhibits to the outside world and the OTHER, which only the one knows about. No matter how much people deny this fact, there always exists a significant difference between these two. And these two personalities are separated by a mental layer, colloquially called the “Ego.” For all those, who are on the verge of insanity after reading the all the apparently non-related statements in this articles till now, here is the cue.

Complex numbers are represented as “a+ib” in its most general form.(where a is called the real part and b is the imaginary part.i being sq.rt. of (-1).). every living being represents a complex number . The ONE and the OTHER personalities of a person are separated by i , which is a representation of the EGO of a person.

That was about complexity. To justify the theme of this article, lets talk about simplicity. Consider a small marble placed in the center of dark room. For a person seeing through a small peep hole in the room, it appears to be a simple system. That was the case of our universe just before it(the marble) unleashed the chaos within.(Assuming the big bang). The complexity within the simplicity was unleashed. In a more scientific jargon, thermodynamic prof. Sethuram would say,” change in entropy is always positive.”(entropy is a measure of complexity). And then the things flew in all directions, still moving. A second thought about this continual expansion would drive us to the fact that the motive behind such expansion is to make things simple. Isn’t this a case of complexity, originating from a simple system and again tending towards simplicity?. Hence, there is immense complexity within the most simple of the things. It also implies that there is a innocent simplicity in the most complex of the things.

A rendezvous with time

Genre: Fantasy/self-motivation/drama

27th Dec. 2007
It was a tiring day.There were 3 companies that visited the institute that day for placements.No suprise that i didn't get through any of them.This was the typical scenario in the campus since the first day of the placement season.Unless there is some company visiting that day,the already shortened typical winter day in guwahati seems further shortened by our deep slumbers.Only two things were discussed among the people as if there is nothing else at all in their lives,whether it is at dinner time at tandoori point or while sipping a tea at rubel ..it would be either about higher studies or placements.Something in all of us suddenly wants us to decide what to do next.This idea of urgency to decide the whole future and the mundane discussions were really disgusting,especially for someone like me who hasn't got an offer yet.The disgust and despair was growing day by day and no wonder that it seemed to increase ten-fold this day.My condition was perefctly fit to trigger another deep sleep.
I suddenly felt myself sitting in a corner of a dark room.I could hear people shouting all around in my mind but i was sure that no one was around me and somehow i couldn't make out even a word of wat they are talking.Slowly the voices faded away.I slowly heard footsteps growing in intensity through the silence.Soon an old man appeared in the scene.I could see my immediate surroundings with the brilliance of the man.He was very much like Gandalf when he returns back in LOTR-II,except that he didnt own the awesome horse and the magical wand!!There was all the calmness of the world in his face and the smile on his face could erase all the sorrow in this world.Yet the most attracting thing in him was his golden armour studded with some of the world's finest diamonds.Just the sight could have brought me into best of my spirits but i keep trying to convince myself that i m very depressed and i shouldn't try to be otherwise.The old man moved closer to me.
Old man : "what is the matter my boy,why are you so sad?"
a moment of pause and the question repeated.
me : "Firstly tell me who are you and why you are here"
Old man :(chuckles) "you will eventually know everything.First tell me why are sad"
me: "Before i tell you anything,please tell me how could you maintain such calmness in your personality"
Old man : (the smile on his face getting more vibrant than ever) " This is what i have learnt from my whole life and from my ancestors.The diamonds you see in my armour are the souls of my ancestors "
me: " i dont actually believe you.You must be having no problems at all in your life.or else how could you be so happy"
Old man: " My boy believe me,there is no life without problems in this world.atleast me and my ancestors had never seen anyone without problems.I had been to places far and wide in my lifetime,across oceans and continents,met a variety of people but still couldn't find anyone without problems in his life"
He continued, "The only way to overcome problems is to get above it,be calm and happy and think for a solution and if u cant find one,still be happy,try to njoy the hardships with a smile on your face.that would definitely end a problem"
me : " are you successful in life? "
Old man: "Being successful depends on how you define success.I believe that as long as you enjoy your life and are satisfied, you are successful.Being satisfied doesn't mean that you need you should stop aiming and working for it but with all your hardwork you can achieve success.I can say this with authenticity because i did it many a time in my lifetime and achieved success"
me: "what do you think are your greatest...(pause)"( I suddenly realised that i was really getting into a interviewing mode and restrained myself.Shit!! these placements had a really bad effect on me.
me: " well,I....(pause).. I somehow feel that i know you very well.I feel that you are the closest friend of mine, much more closer,even than my parents.I never felt so before.its rather a strange feeling.do u have any idea of y m i feeling so"
There was a silence again.My mind was wavering and wondering wildly why this could be.
Old man: " well my boy,you are my destiny"
There couldn't be a bigger shock to me in my whole life.initially i cudn't believe my eyes,now i m not even able to believe my rest of the senses.
me: " Sir, are you kidding with me.please tell me who you are and why you are here"
Old man: " Don't you really know me.I ve always been with you.yes i mean always. I record every single moment of your life. i keep on moving and take you along.This is why you feel so.But you could never catch me because between the moment you feel me and try to catch me, i move into another moment."
He continued ignoring my bamboozled looks," I m none but the result of your personality and your deeds,so are my ancestors who are monitoring you right from your birth"
"well, i m here gift you with my son...." even before he completed his words,the old man handed me a beautiful baby.
" i ve done my job.I have placed your destiny in your hands.this baby has all the qualities and wisdom of me and my ancestors.Now,its up to you how you shape him further."
The old man removed his armour and placed it on the baby's chest.He said,"My son, i wish a very happy and wonderful new year" and disappeared into thin air.Soon enough, i could see a new diamond along with this others on the armour and this diamond was shining more brightly than others.Dumbstruck by the series of events, i took a look into the baby's face.The baby was nothing but a miniature of the old man who just disappeared.The same calmness in his eyes and the same vibrant smile on his face.What could have been a greater shock in my life.Who is this old man and what the hell i need to do with this baby.
Before i could do anything further, i heard a series of explosions and i suddenly found myself on my cozy bed.I realised that my friend was banging the door.well he had a reason to [:)] . I had an interview on that day.I felt more confident than ever before.I did the interview unusually well and well, this time the nature's shot was off the target.I got placed.Hurray!! atleast an end to the never ending discussions about them.The old man has impressed me so much but i still couldn't figure out what actually he was.well, who cares,i m happy now and its just another dream and i dont really need to chase my dreams. :P
I wish one and all a wonderful new year 2008.

One night in Aachen!!---- part II

Apology: I apologize to all the frequent readers of my blog(i hardly hope anyone actually does ) for delaying this much awaited write-up.

Note: As usual, this blog contains some disturbing elements, especially to the parental community.Reader discretion is recommended.If you are below 18 or above 25 please skip this blog.

...We three ran into a eternal silence, i could clearly hear the furious heart poundings of my friends.Soon the silence was broken as we entered a huge hall filled with marlboro puffs. The disco lighting blinded our already lust-blinded eyes. Now , wat the fcuk is this!!Splash!!! my feeling at that sight could be best described by the ruthless splashing of water on a piece of iron at white-hot temperature.i could see nothing except a few stalls with some shitty sex-business. ponro cd's and dvds, unusual and disgusting toys, tatooing...every possible thing that could upside down our expectations.Like a pheonix rising from ashes, my anger rose from the agony i was facing.I slowly realised that the 'gentleman' outside was closely feautred to one of my profs,Mr.Venugopal Pappuluri(name changed to hide the identity) and i felt like hanging him upside down and lower into a pool slithering snakes. My friend,pulled up a bit of composure and inquired in one of the stalls.To our suprise, we weren't cheated.There was a big door in a corner of the room leading to the main hall.I was so happy that i failed to realise that the 'gentleman' was notat all similar to my prof, he was a gentleman again[:)] . And then, the REAL thing.This is wat all our post-teenager eyes waited for so long. There were smaller compartments in this hall. We entered one of the compartments, American Table dance, hardly knowing anything about it.i couldnt believe my eyes, an adreline rush of......i donno wat it was but definitely something rushed back in my spine.Two naked babes, dancing with poles, as if tender creeper creeping along a wall and the shine on the dew condensing on it with the first light of the day.After some intial moments of excitement and thrill, it was growing mundane. Then we moved into the stripping section(sorry,my vocab is much influenced by chemical engg. that too at a wrong place..actually it was strip tease). There were few more of such compartments which i avoid mentioning.We moved from one to another, our excitement dropping exponentially.A hour passed on without our notice, then 2, 3 4.....mundane was turning into disgust.What the hell is going on here??!!!!!
First time in my life, i felt disgusted with myself..what was i doing?? my mind was totally blank.No sense of mine was supporting my act.every cell in my body was filled with extreme guilt.A guilt that developed out of the way we brought up, the culture we were nourished in and the philosophies of life we follow.I looked back...and was astonished by the thought of where i started 5 hours ago and where i ended at the end of it.I resolved at that moment that i wud kill the devil which sprouted and was growing up so rapidly in me. I couldnt find me myself in front of me in which case i wud have ruthlessly beheaded him(me).With a heavy heart and a deep regret, i moved out.The red-haired babe sitting right outside the entrance,in person, couldnt anymore excite me.I walked down the road into oblivion.My mind was hardly preapred to think of the way to my home.My legs couldnt bear the weight of my heavy heart and i sat down on a bench and soon after I perished into a deep slumber. Next morning,I was woke up by a passer-by and was back to life again.I felt as if i m just re-born after a tragic end of my previous life. I strode my way back to home happily pretending to forget my previous life.
And there ends my most memorable night in aachen.
PS: I thank the readers for patiently reading till the end(hopefully). I sincerely convey that i m not a budding erotic writer nor intend to be one but i wanted to share my learning experience in a truely sensible way.I thought this was a better way to advice my juniors to avoid the agony i ve been through.Thank u :)

One night in Aachen!!---part I

Note: The following article consists of adult stuff and reader discretion is needed.If you are below 18 or above 25 ,please skip this blog.



During the last summer, i did my internship at RWTH university ,aachen,germany.Aachen is a beautiful town located in the heart of europe bordering netherlands and belgium.This was the first time I was abroad and the exotic environment filled me with enthusiasm and a bit of nervousness.(Un)luckily, one of my classmate wasn't far from my place( I avoid discussing the 'Un' part).It was a matter of just a week for me to adjust to this new world and find 2 more souls ,who too came there for an internship.(Oops!! I forgot that i even worked a bit during my intern).Soon i got used to looking at sizzling hot blondes(Though i hate the weird hairstyles of the darker community) and the usual 'danke' and 'bitte' ( i seldom believe if they really meant it!!), the unusual food habits and the wonderful weekend gala. But i ,along with my other mates were definitely expecting something MORE. and we didnt expect anything impossible. My happiness knew no bounds when i saw the posters all over the city of a voluptuous red-haired babe posing erotically. There was something written on it in german(but the message was straight!! :P) , I could only conclude 2 things from it. KREFELDER STRASSE, 07/06/07-09/06/07.i wrote down the german words as it is and later translated it just to read 'erotic exhibition' on the computer screen." Phew!! still 20 days,3 hours ,45 minutes left for this grand event" I thought.Everyday ,at every corner, i cherished a look at the poster and consoled the babe on the poster to wait just for few more days.Four of was planned that we would visit the place all the three days and were just waiting for the moment.Finally the D-day arrived. It was a part of the long weekend and we were not at all sorry that we could not use this long weekend for touring some nice place.In the meantime, 'un'fortunately i had a serious fight with my classmate who was along with me and he missed out this much awaited day or rather NIGHT.( I again avoid the 'un' part). we have never been to krefelder strasse before but we could easily trace it on the well scripted city map. The only thing we didnt realise was that it wasnt a particular place but a 5 km long street.With a strong desire and confidence of finding it we set off.finally ,without screwing the plan(not yet!!) much we reached the destination at around 9 pm. A pitch black chick in black bikni was sitting at the entrance( well i still doubt if it was a shadow of someone or really someone was sitting there) and the receptionist ,a well dressed gentleman,supposedly an englishman, welcomed us with a grin."hello,whats there inside??" I said ,longing to hear something very hot.It seemed the man was just waiting for these words.He explained all the hot stuff inside in great detail.The only thing we didnt like in his speech was the last sentence in which he mentioned the price.It was 20 euros!!(Omg,this is too much).we three looked at each others faces. Each of us were thinking the same..but the there was a spark of determination in evryone's eye.Seeing our dismal yet determined faces, the gentleman(now u realise y i called him gentleman :D) offered a STUDENT discount of 5 euros on each ticket.(Bingo!! first time in my life i found the real worth of being a student ) .bang! 45 euros on the table exchanged it for 3 tickets and 3 cigar lighters as a souvenir.This is the moment we were waiting for.I was feeling at the top of the world.The radiance from our faces disturbed the sexy lighting of the scenario and i seriously felt that this could be the major cause of the global warming!! how can evnironmentalists all over the world forget such hot stuff[:P].( yeah yeah i know ,this is a bit overboard) The entrance was no way less than our expectations ,the surrounding walls filled with similar posters as i saw before but i felt a bit low when i couldnt find my favorite poster,the red-headed one among them.Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!

Continued in the next part.......:D
PS: Now i realise the psychic happiness of the serial makers when they stop something so thrilling suddenly.well i had to.:P

Cricket Reloaded

Aaha, what a fortnight it was!! No wonder i felt that i m witnessing a revolution in the cricketing world.A new dimension of watching this wonderful game, in its shortest version,presenting you the twenty20 format.(Oops!! probably im too late with the introduction).Initially, I thought that this form of game is nothing more than a "slogthon" and intentionally designed to morally,physically humiliate the bowlers and to satiate the psychic happiness of the wild hitters,so called "specialists".And i was pretty happy to see my perception supported by the skytouching biggies by gayle and gibbs in the first game and i really pitied the bowlers,even legends like pollock were taken for a toll .But this "G" factor did not rule the tournment,as we see.There was some special bowling skills developed soon before many people even realised it. Well directed fulltosses, slow balls,yorkers,short balls,intentional awry line ...this isn't common,becoz it was all happening fast and all in a single over!! And this yeilded results.well, i must say that this made the game interesting.In no time people realised that running for runs and building partnerships wasnt anymore ruled out for this form of the game.The sooner the teams realised it, the longer they stayed in the tournment.The high-wire tension this game produces incredible entertainment and attracted huge investments as advertisements.Being from a nation where cricket is more than a game, a religion ,what can one expect more than this, must mention the two memorable india-pak matche"s"(luckily two!! :) Thanks to the "bowl-out",a new jargon in cricket) in this regard.Well, I must say that team india did stand out of other teams and did not get away with the inexperienced team,instead came out in flying colors with a cup filled with experience and immense joy to drench the thirst of the nation struggling since last quarter of a centuary to held one such thing.congo team india, u made us proud.
This "revolution" did not end with this victory.Somehow indians are too obsessed with this form of the game.Result: ICL and IPL.well ,well!! surely a leap in cricket.Imagine,after a year or so, brian wud b playing along with dada in kolkata,while boucher keeps wickets in bingaz bowling.This surely sounds manchester united or barca.Exciting!! Aaha, no, it doesnt end here.Soon there will be a survival test for the ODI's and the already endangered "tests", which is considered by many analysts as the "real" cricket.There is already a substansiate amount of debate on this topic but it doesnt seem to last long with the triumph of twenty20.This shouldn't happen,we are not gonna miss the fun and memories of laxman standing out and fighting hard to win a test match from a follow-on or anil sweeping up a whole team single handedly to send the visitors with gruelling defeat or the famous "ashes".Hope a mutual existence of all the forms of game,a unique game which supports different versions with a common base,sounds fantastic and equally unrealistic.Only time can determine where this huge "leap" lands up.Long Live Cricket!!

I am your's

I feel for u,
when u r not in a mood,
and there's noone too good
when u r badly hurt,
and there's noone for ur support

I will stand by u,
when no one can understand,
and u r left as an isolated strand,
when u r completely lost,
regretting the dark side of the past.

I will fight for u,
when u lose all the hope,
and it becomes difficult to cope.
when the hunters are on the prowl,
and u r the endangered soul.

I live for u,with u,
till the dusk in my life sets in,
I will wait till then,
to tell the untold,
" Oh my Dear!! I m ur soul."

My Plight

It was a lazy morning.The sun was on a holiday in the close cover of the dark clouds for almost a week now.While the dawn marked a relief for a few deeply involved in the technical festival over the last weekend, many lethargic souls like me were indifferent towards the most happening things in our campus.Cursing the whole administration for scheduling classes in the early hours of the day, I started walking towards the NAC.There was the unusual chill in the air or probably i felt so coz this was the first time i am attending since the last monday.As always i cherished the past when i passed besides the school in our campus, relishing upon the nostalgic days,i waded my way through my dreams into classroom.I tried hard to escape the stern look of my professor who was already bamboozled to find just one student apart from me and that too 10 minutes after the start of the class.To add to his dismal, i found myself a comfortable last bench trying to hide myself behind the only other soul present in the class. Some of my classmates followed in the next half of the class.Soon i was into where I stopped at...Day dreaming.. this has become a hobby for me in the recent past. Things seem better when I close my eyes and allow my brain to explore the unexplored world of fantasy. This is a typical routine in my life these days where i forget where i started my day and where i m lost in the middle of the day only to realise in the night that i did nothing other than playing for a couple of hours and hanging out with my friends and of course day dreaming.
Every Hero needs a saviour in such a situation, I m not an exception!!

Just For You

(Dont look for rhyming as my feelings are too wild and sweet(weird combo...so am I!!) for it)



I love the way u look at me,
Your eyes bright with a silver lining across,
Always sending chills down my spine,
I love the way u laugh,
making me wonder ' who said the pearls of hyd are the most beautiful?'
I love the way u scold me,
the innocense of a child,
the possesion hidden in the words
I love the way u wait for a reply,
after messaging me,
cursing the network and following it with missed calls
I love the way u miss me,
your brain and heart fighting each other for a mutual existence
I love the way u blush when u hear a compliment,
your cheeks red
and an insatiable hunger for more of those
I love the way u make me so happy
And the ways u show u care.
I love that u are with me
And glad that u r mine
I love the way u feel
that im flirting with u in ur subconscious mind
trying hard to prove urself that i m not
I love the way
u read this again and again
just to see the reflections of your feelings in my words
I love u for watever u are
after all i exactly donno,
rather any language other than 'love' is insufficient to express wat i like in u"

where to start??

There are many ways of expressing oneself.Finally, i realise that there cant be a better way than talking to myself.Hmm yes I ve found a platform to spill out things that always keep running in my subconcious mind.lets get started.